GOUT--The Uninvited Guest

Have you ever had an inkling that a visit from an uninvited guest was impending? You know it’s coming, and the dread drives a spike of fear into the very core of your being. Will it be a painful visit or merely an uncomfortable one this time? Nonetheless, you know it most assuredly will not be a pleasant one. Usually, the visitor sneaks in during the middle of the night, without so much as a “howdy do.” How rude is that! No warning of its arrival, but no doubt it has arrived. Without even opening one eye, you know for certain that it has descended upon you for probably a lengthy visit. Yes, my friends and fellow sufferers, without a doubt--I’m talking about GOUT.

Yep, that insidious malady which has brought even the most  brawny and burliest of men to their knees in agony. We all know the torture of even the thought of a mere breeze, the gentlest touch, or even an errant glance coming anywhere near an afflicted joint. The seemingly weightlessness of bed linens become unbearably intolerable. Never you mind someone actually touching  or accidentally bumping it. You hope against hope that it’s not true by gingerly curling a toe, cautiously flexing a foot or slowly twisting an ankle. For which you are rewarded with a swift stab of pain. It is said that Gout is described as being acute pain. Really…there is nothing cute about it! Whoever devised its name hit the nail on the head. They put the “ou” in the middle of Gout right where it belongs. When you suffer Gout, and I do mean suffer—no other word comes close, it doesn’t even begin to describe the spectrum of indignities you are about to experience.

Even the smallest of tasks we take for granted become seemingly impossible to accomplish. Moving about becomes a series of shambling step-drags with a wince punctuating each possible misstep. Everything you need seems to be at the farthest point from your present location. Your reach never quite exceeds your grasp. You can’t carry everything you need, and extra trips are an inevitable necessity. Stairs appear to be an insurmountable endeavor, and only the direst need makes you even contemplate taking them on. Even if you are brave enough to try, you know you still have to come back down. That descent is a daunting prospect in itself and an affront to your personal safety. As if the insufferable pain was not enough, fatigue, frustration, and ineptitude is heaped upon you without fail. A constant dialogue runs through your mind—just make it stop, why me, why now, what did I ever do to deserve this, I promise I won’t ever eat red meat again. On and on goes the litany of woulda, shoulda, couldas. The only light at the end of the torturous tunnel is that eventually you will get relief. It may not be tomorrow, or the day after, or even the day after that, but the pain will subside along with the memory of what you just endured—until the next time.

Don’t suffer in silence, come join me and share your tales of woe. Vent your frustration at having to ride out these painful interludes. Tell me how you’ve found relief or how you deal with painful flare-ups. Gout seems to be a growing problem. It is affecting more people at younger ages. It used to be a “disease of kings” and affected only “middle-aged men”.  Now, it doesn’t seem to discriminate between age, gender, or economic levels. We are all bound by the commonality of this fiercely painful condition.

Leave your favorite remedy or take one with you. It’s funny how many different “cures” there are. One works for some, but not for others. It’s a matter of trial and error, and eventually you will find something that works for you. Knowledge is power, so flex your mental muscle and share your thoughts. You never know whom you may be helping by speaking up.  All thoughts and opinions on Gout are welcome. Let’s laugh at this mean old disease and not let it get us down. I would much rather laugh than cry.  After all, laughter is the best medicine!